Transition - Confessions #3: Post-Grad Pressure

Even though I still have one more year of college to go before I officially become an adult and enter the real world, I surely am no stranger to stress and I am no stranger to the pressure that we both put on ourselves and that society puts on us, (us being students) to either secure an internship or an insane job RIGHT after graduation. Patience is a virtue, my peeps. It is so hard not to get wrapped up in what everyone else is doing and compare it to your situation and these four submissions really speak to that. 


Confession: 

I think the pressure definitely depends on what you studied, like I know most other people who studied Journalism struggled to find jobs for at least a few months after graduation, whereas most of the engineering / finance bros I know had jobs lined up before second semester senior year. That also made the transition out of college weird, because I have some friends who graduated at the same time as me who moved across the country and are already making 6 figures, but I have some friends who are still living with their parents trying to hunt for jobs. 

I think the most important thing is to just remember that no matter what, any one person’s journey is gonna be different from anyone else’s, for a number of reasons. So, while it might be easier said than done, the best advice I could give to graduating seniors is to chart your own course and don’t compare your experience to other people’s. 

My thoughts: 

This is something that I talk about all the time with my friends who are also studying some sort of communication. It seems like the business school kids have their entire lives planned out and squared away (or at least, according to Linkedin they do) meanwhile us COM kids are struggling to even get an email response! I’m being dramatic, we get email responses, sometimes. And I’m not saying that studying COM means you won’t get an internship which then means you won’t get a real job. No no no. But it seems like when you study things like finance or accounting, those jobs come earlier which makes it seem like all the rest of us are far, far behind or like we are doing something wrong. Like this person said, you cannot compare your journey to someone else’s, ESPECIALLY when they are in a completely different school than you are. 

Also side-note, there is nothing wrong with living with your parents after college for a little bit until you figure out your next move. I feel like there is so much pressure to move to the city just like everyone else from your high school and go and start your 9 to 5 life but guess what, that isn’t how it NEEDS to be! Take your sweet, sweet time living it up at home and move out when the time is right. 

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Confession: 

I think you hear it all the time: don’t compare yourself to others - especially on social media. But doing my senior year of college online was especially hard because I felt social media was the only way I could keep up with my friends and peers who were graduating as well. So tracking their successes on social media made me feel a little embarrassed of my own because it wasn’t as prestigious or “cool” as other people’s opportunities. Especially during the last month or two of senior year, when it felt like everyone I knew was writing the “I was hired here” posts. I didn’t have a job immediately lined up and I spent the last two months of my undergraduate experience stressing. I feel that the stress I put on myself robbed me of really experiencing the once in a lifetime experience of graduating undergrad and enjoying it.

My thoughts: 

Social media was hard enough pre-pandemic, but when COVID hit, like this person said, it became the sole way to keep in touch with people and see what everyone was up to (or really, not up to). This ties into the last confession above in relation to comparing yourself and your situation to others. Constantly scrolling and seeing your peers announcing that they have jobs at x, y and z is hard. I even experienced this with internships this past spring. Seeing people announce that they have an internship at a huge, big-name company was sometimes hard to swallow. A little jealousy would kick in and then you start questioning yourself and why so-and-so got the job and you didn’t. 

There is so much pressure put on graduating students that they need to immediately have their dream job right out of college or else it seems like the last four years were all for nothing. That is a bit drastic and no, your college education was not for nothing if you are waiting for a few months after graduation still trying to find a great job. You don’t want to settle just so you can say hey guess what, I have a job too guys! 

Don’t stress. I know that you will. I will too. But just, try not to. Okay?

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Confession: 

Here are my thoughts on post- grad...I am very much in the thick of it because I literally graduated 3 weeks ago, but it cannot be understated enough how real the post-grad funk is. It’s just crazy because what you don’t realize is that we’ve been going straight from school to more school for 22 years and then all of the sudden there’s no longer a clear path and everyone diverges and does their own thing. And in some ways, that’s awesome that we have this new freedom and ability to take our lives in any direction, but it also can be super paralyzing because it completely contrasts everything we have experienced up until this point. 

I think also the whole “college is the best four years of your life” mantra has been really troubling because it leads you to believe that everything will be downhill from here, that the best four years are over. Personally, I think that is such a bleak way to look at life. Yes, college was awesome in some respects. But it was its own chapter and what’s not to say you won’t find things you love going forward? As I navigate this period of transition I am trying to remind myself it’s okay to “mourn” of sorts the ending of college but also be open-minded about the future. It’s okay to not be okay during this time.


My thoughts: 

This is such an interesting perspective that I never thought about before, but boy is it true. We have literally been in a routine for at least 20 years straight of waking up, going to school, having homework, tests, etc. Now, all of a sudden that ends and we are thrown into the real world? You guys know I love a good routine, but how the heck is that supposed to work?! That is QUITE the change-up.

And if you know me, you know that I don’t really believe in the whole “college is the best four years of your life” thing. I have been ready to enter the real world since sophomore year of high school. With that being said, I am trying to take in the undergrad experience a little more and be more spontaneous and do more things before all of that is over and I am onto the next.

 I agree in the sense that post-grad is a period of time where you need to be extremely open-minded. And honestly, undergrad is a time to be extremely open-minded as well. Maybe you had this plan of where you would end up, who you would live with, what kind of job you would get. Maybe those all work out, but maybe they also don’t. That is the part that needs to be more accepted! Life would be way too easy if we got everything we wanted all the time. The expectation that we graduate college and become a successful, thriving millionaire adult walking down the streets of the city or wherever you end up, that’s just not realistic. 

Be gentle with yourself and your situation. Pat yourself on the back if you have a job or if you are going through the tireless application process. Pat yourself on the back if you managed to find an apartment or if you are back in your childhood home. Pat yourself on the back people! 

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Confession: 

I’m not the kind of person to follow the pack, but when I’m unsure of myself it’s easy to get lost in the noise and get anxious about if I’m doing enough things “right.” Sure there’s pressure to have a good job (or just a job lol), or get the right apartment out of college, but that’s all noise. I’ve personally chosen to take my time adjusting back into the “real world.” 

The pressure I feel now that I’m done is completely self imposed. Perhaps societal pressures are subconsciously embedded within me, but I don’t really worry much about following the traditional path. And thankfully I have a wonderful family and amazing friends who will still support me even though I’m not trying to become an investment banker, or a doctor, or a lawyer. 


My thoughts: 

I love the first sentence in this confession because it describes my freshman year of college so perfectly. I am also not the kind of person to follow the pack and just go with what everyone is doing, but I found myself doing that that year because I got caught up and “lost in the noise.” This person isn’t talking about freshman year of college, but let’s think about this next chapter as freshman year of adulthood.

Block out all of the noise that is the pressure to get a job, pressure to get an apartment, pressure to make money, pressure to find a significant other, whatever it is keeping you up at night, BLOCK. IT. OUT. 

If you take the time to think about where this pressure is coming from and why it exists, it most likely isn’t directly coming from you. Sure, you may feel like you want to accomplish those things, but it probably has to do with the fear and worry of what happens if you don’t. What will people think? Will I be behind? All of my friends are doing x and I’m not…is that bad?

JUST DO YOU!


Transition - Confessions #2: College during COVID

For those who are going to college during this pandemic, we all know how tough it can be. I don’t need to elaborate on that idea, so let’s just get right into this post! Thanks to all who sent in submissions.

“Social life at college during a pandemic shows who your real friends are! My friends and I have made a bubble and we spend time with the people we care about. Sometimes, the bubble gets bigger, but it hasn’t popped yet. Thankfully, my school has COVID under control, so there is rarely a feeling of isolation. We try and make the most boring activities eventful!”

I LOVE THIS. I think that as we get older, it has become less important to have a big group of friends and more important to have a handful that you trust and genuinely care about. We aren’t in high school anymore and we don’t have to worry about where to sit in the cafeteria. Now more than ever it’s important to just spend time with the people that make you feel good and make you happy. It’s a tense time we are living in and having supportive friends will definitely help us get through it. 

“I think for the longest time I had this expectation that once I was back at school, everything would be different but in reality, it’s not that different. Your daily tasks are most likely the same (if you are actually following guidelines) except for school work and classes. Everything feels the same just in a different location. It’s like lockdown at home except without the comforts and security of being at home. After my first week my “honeymoon phase” of finally being away from home after so long and being in my own space faded. Not necessarily a bad thing though, just reality setting back in that, ‘oh yeah, we are still in a future textbook unit.’ I will say, having a schedule again that isn’t just meals at a certain time, is very nice.” 

Okay so I totally agree with this. I feel like the only difference between where I am now and where I was four months ago is that I am in a new bedroom in a different state. I still wake up and do my ab workout. I still make pancakes way too often. BUT, I do have a few in person classes and it’s nice to have the option to attend AND I am around a lot more people and it’s nice to see everyone out and about, exercising and socializing (with their masks on.) It’s so weird to think that our kids will be learning about this time period in their history classes, economic classes and more. Look Mom, we made it! 

“As a transfer, I am definitely having a hard time meeting new people and making new friends during COVID. I’m already a biggg introvert and it’s usually hard for me to make friends because I’m so shy, so this pandemic is only making that harder for me...I was also really looking forward to going to a new school because I could sort of reinvent myself. A goal of mine for the new school year was to actually be a little more outgoing and make more of an effort to go out and meet people, but with COVID it is SO much more difficult to do that :/ With everyone wearing masks and having to sit 6 feet apart in classrooms, it doesn’t allow for any real social interactions. Zoom classes don’t make things any better because let’s face it...it’s clearly impossible to make friends in a Zoom breakout room lol.” 

This one hits a little closer to home being that I was a transfer last year. I can’t even imagine trying to acclimate to a brand new school during a time where you can’t even recognize people on the street. Anyone who is going through this right now, whether you are a freshman, a transfer or just someone looking to start new, know this: you are doing great. It’s the little things that are important. Go out and find a new favorite restaurant that you can take out from every once in a while to treat yourself or ask someone through a Zoom chat to study together or get coffee. I know it’s hard. It was hard before and it definitely is harder now, but it is totally doable and despite COVID, there are still ways for you to put yourself out there! There are also transfer programs at certain schools - I am a transfer student mentor this semester and it’s just nice to be there for someone who needs help getting started. I would say check in with your school and see if they offer similar programs!

“I know that many college students don’t care about getting COVID and think they will probably be asymptomatic, but I can assure you that is not the case! As someone who is healthy and active, I ended up getting almost every symptom and let me tell you, it is a horrible experience. I endured pain, shortness of breath, just about everything. I still can’t taste or smell and it stinks. Thankfully, I got it during Sylly week, but please know that it seriously is not worth it. People went to a large gathering one night and even though THEY were negative, they were ignorant to the fact that other individuals could bring it. No one is invincible. Wear a mask wherever you go and make sure to constantly wash your hands and be cautious of the environment you are in. The party can wait, I promise.” 

If you take anything from this submission, let it be that the party can most definitely wait. We were all stuck in our homes for months during quarantine and most of us are now back at school which is supposed to be fun and freeing. I know there are certain parties that you were probably looking forward to attending but guess what? There will be MORE EVENTUALLY. IT’S OKAY. So suck it up buttercup, wear a mask, wash your hands, WIPE DOWN YOUR PHONE, door knobs, keys, credit cards, computers, EVERYTHING. Just be smart. And if you do get sick, take care of yourself and those around you. 

“Okay so basically I’m doing a 5th year because of COVID - but as of right now, I’m fully remote and have no rowing practices. My friends all chose to go online as well so I don’t feel like I’m missing out or anything but it’s made the transition from summer to school so difficult lol. Like, I’ve gotten so used to my summer schedule and routine where all my free time was spent watching TikTok and Love Island, so having to log into class all of a sudden and spend my time in full school mode without actually being there has been rough and doesn’t feel legitimate. So, I have to remind myself daily that these Zoom calls are real and impact my GPA/future. It’s just so much harder to stay engaged and focused because my classes are recorded on a camera in the back of a lecture hall. It’s definitely not fun lol.” 

While I may not be into Love Island, I watched enough of those kinds of shows during quarantine to know how addicting they are and how much better they sound than Zoom. Married at First Sight, anyone? Highly recommend. I think that was definitely the hardest part for me while I was at home taking classes, the whole having to switch my school brain on while sitting in my pajamas and being two feet away from my couch thing. There is definitely a reason why school happens in one building and you live in another - separation is important. Sometimes, I throw my phone under my bed or put it in a drawer so I am not tempted to go on it during Zoom. It also helps me to wear real people clothes to make me feel more productive, so if that means putting on a pair of jeans, so be it. 

“I feel like I have so much more work than usual. One of my classes in particular is driving me nuts. It’s a class that’s supposed to meet twice a week for an hour. Instead of doing two hour-long lectures, my teacher records two that are an hour and has us all meet on Friday for a third hour-long session. We spend an hour more “in class” than we should. That’s on a good week. Sometimes, my professor assigns a two hour-long lecture for one class. We also have 30-50 pages of dense academic essays to read. It doesn’t sound like a lot but these are all really dense. It’s not like reading a book, or even a textbook. It’s dull, convoluted academic writing. I can have four to five hours of work due for one class period and half of it is just listening to my teacher regurgitate what I just read.”

I will say this: While we students complain a lot about Zoom or the adjustment to online classes, teachers are probably feeling it 10x more, but they can’t say anything about it. I give them a lot of credit for having to basically create a new syllabus and way to learn to accommodate all kinds of students. HOWEVER, that does sound like a frick ton of work. Just try to manage your time as best as you can! When I have a lot of reading for one class, I like to break it up. Maybe do one or two chapters for one class, then another assignment, come back to it and switch it up again. It helps!

“Coming back to field hockey has been a nice change to my routine since the pandemic began, and it’s good for my mental health to have a change of pace and exercise even, to get my mind off stressors...The new protocols are definitely an adjustment for all of us, and especially the freshman who only know this as their first year experience….we still had to run tests, but the times were not as tough due to our coach’s understanding of the pandemic.”

I feel for the freshman student athletes who have been thrown into this weird world that is college athletics during a pandemic. Coming from someone who used to play soccer, preseason was my favorite time of the year and was a time I have great memories from. Having a team is a great thing to have during a time like this and the fact that you are all going through this specific thing is very comforting, I can imagine. Just continue to work hard and prepare yourself for getting back on the field! Luckily, certain schools are now allowing practices while following the guidelines. Whether you are on a varsity team and have practice or aren’t an athlete, take the time for yourself to focus on something other than school. Can I suggest going on a walk while listening to a podcast?

Transition - Confessions #1: Study Abroad

In my town, there are a few things that people typically do once they go to college. Two of them are joining Greek life and studying abroad. You will most likely go to school with some of your high school classmates, become their ‘brother’ or ‘sister’ and then travel the world with them. Before I went to college myself, those two things sounded like an obvious “duh.” But I found that the whole sorority thing wasn’t for me and although I wanted to study abroad at first, I realized that there is no way I could do it. Yes, I would love to travel the world. But, I hate sleepovers, I hated sleepaway camp and every time we go on vacation, I am ready to come home after five days. What can I say, I like being home! 

While many of our friends rave about their times abroad, because let’s be real, it is absolutely a once in a lifetime, unreal experience, the transition is never included in the highlight reel. Uprooting your life for a whole semester is a complete culture shock. The thing is, nobody ever talks about it. So, here are some submissions from different people, ages, gender and schools about their transition abroad. 


“When I first arrived in London I was really overwhelmed by all the people and a culture that was much different than the United States. My first two weeks there I spent a lot of time in my apartment rather than going out to bars and clubs or just even exploring the city. Staying in only  caused me to feel even more anxious about the thought of going out into the city. Although I felt nervous, I had to force myself to go out with friends and have a good time. I quickly found that there wasn’t much I needed to be nervous about and that I would have a lot more fun sticking with my friends rather than just sitting in my apartment…”

The two times I’ve been out of the country were 10 day trips in countries where the main language was not English. It was very overwhelming because I was constantly feeling like I was playing catch up, trying to translate into English what I was being told and then back to Spanish to respond back. By the end of the day I was exhausted. 

What I love about this entry is how this person came to the realization all by themself that the whole sitting inside thing wasn’t going to work out anymore. It’s totally normal to feel overwhelmed and to want to take some alone time - I’m a big proponent of alone time - but it’s also important to balance that out with trying new things and going out of your comfort zone. After all, you are living across the world. What could be more out of your comfort zone than that?

“When you speak to family, friends and other college alumni that study abroad, you often hear of life changing experiences. You hear of traveling to amazing countries - eating pastries in Europe or surfing in Australia. For many college students it feels like study abroad is a no brainer. There are others, like me, who were more hesitant. I had created an incredible life for myself on my college campus, and frankly enjoyed the comfort I felt in my classes, my apartment and the town. In my mind, there is a finite time you get to spend in college, and I didn’t want to waste it abroad. With that being said, I definitely felt a pressure to push myself to study abroad for a semester. I let myself be convinced that it was what was right for me. In retrospect, I wish I had listened to myself, and what I knew would make me happy. When I got abroad, there was an immediately overwhelming feeling. I figured there would be an adjustment and that I just had to push through it. As time went on, I realized my plan was flawed in a few ways. I hadn’t done enough research on the program I was attending. I didn’t understand the implications that the housing, the classes or the schedule would have on me. At the end of the day, picking an incredible city is only an incredible experience if you surround yourself with people, academics and accommodations that make you comfortably uncomfortable.” 

We always hear that we should trust our gut and that we know ourselves best. So why is it that we let other people and what is considered “right” or “normal” override those gut feelings? Peer pressure. It’s so easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing and convince yourself that maybe you should do it too. I love what this person said at the end about being comfortably uncomfortable - that’s what trying new things and new experiences is all about, right? If that weren’t the case, then there wouldn’t be a sense of home or a safe space. 

So take this submission as a learning lesson: if you have any sense of hesitancy about going abroad for a semester, take the time to think about what you will be missing at school while you are away. If it isn’t worth being gone for you, don’t go for a whole semester. You can either visit your friends over spring break or you can do a summer or winter session that is more condensed. That’s what I would do! 

“The “fear of missing out,” or more informally known as F.O.M.O, is something that surprised me because despite being coupled with homesickness in a toxic combination, it is practically a homeless concept. It knows no borders and has no restrictions, so it was the most portable thing that I unintentionally carried with me when I studied abroad in South Korea last fall. Although I had prepared to the best of my abilities before embarking on the 14-hour flight from JFK Airport to Incheon Airport, there was no check box to mark or method of preparation for the kind of homesickness I experienced after the adrenaline rush of arriving wore off. In this age, we are heavily attached to our technological footprints, so it was easy to see how the places and people I called home were living without me - and it felt isolating. In those moments, the “fear of missing out” manifested into this impossible wish to be in two, three or however many places you have the privilege of calling home at once; the monotonous beat of my thumb tapping the surface of my phone screen as my eyes skimmed through Instagram posts of college football tailgates, Snapchat stories of reunions with home friends, text messages from my parents and brothers giving me the latest update and the always welcomed pictures of my dog - all snapshots of what I’ve been missing as I’m here and the rest of my world seems to be over there….” 

Oh, FOMO. The contagious mind game that starts in middle school and ends...well, does it ever? Even if you don’t want to look, you can’t help but see what everyone else is up to. And when you aren’t home to be a part of whatever event you would have been if you were, it can be hard to see. Whether it’s a college football tailgate, a school tradition or simply being at school in the spring, some things are just hard to imagine missing out on. I decided my sophomore year that I would not be going abroad the next year, and yet, I was already stressing about seeing everyone from my grade at home and at school abroad, reuniting, being together. Isn’t that silly? Who cares? But I just couldn’t help it. 

My advice would be to take those first two weeks to adjust and fully immerse yourself in your new environment. Like this person said, the adrenaline rush is going to dissipate and you are going to have a quick reality check of your new life. So I would say, don’t worry about what other people across the world are doing, focus on you. 


“When I looked at colleges, study abroad programs were one of those things that I kept my eyes peeled for. I knew I wanted to do it, but the dream of living in a foreign country, hitting up all those Instagram-worthy spots, and feeling this pressure to appear like I’m having the time of my life hides the struggle of trying to time convenient phone calls with a fourteen hour time difference when you’re having a mental breakdown about school (because yes, there is some studying in study abroad), the alienation from seeing which friends comment on your Instagram pictures and which ones don’t, and the hesitancy of telling your friends that you’re having the best time yet miss them a lot to avoid the expected response of “what is there to miss here when you’re over there?” Although the only way to deal with this kind of homesickness is to ignore it, feeling it made me appreciative of how many places and people I do get to call home and be allowed to miss. I had the best time studying abroad, but it was very clear that my roots were elsewhere and I was scared of being uprooted. This new sensation of homesickness made me understand why F.O.M.O begins with fear…”

I think the key to this is “hiding the struggle.” The pictures of pizza and lattes and sweets look delicious and may make people’s mouth water, but in between the meals you also have school work, having to adjust to a major time difference and learning to navigate your new normal for the next few months. It’s scary to be thrown into a new place with new people, let alone a new country across the world with strangers who speak a different language. It’s natural and okay to feel homesick, whether it’s freshman year of college or while studying abroad or anywhere in between. But I wouldn’t ignore it, I would recognize it. Call your parents. Watch some sports games. Try and incorporate a few things from your at-home routine into your new life to make the adjustment a little bit easier! Unfortunately, F.O.M.O is never going to go away. But you can distract yourself with new things to make it a little less apparent.