I can be a little bit stubborn sometimes, or maybe impatient is the better word to use. Moral of the story is when I was a freshman in college, meditation was something that was recommended to me as a way to help clear my mind. I told that person that yes, of course I would try it. In my head though? I was thinking, heckkkkk no.
To me, meditating sounded boring. Why would I do that? It’s not going to do anything for me. I remember sitting on my bed one night and downloading the Headspace app. I put on a quick little guided meditation and tried to do it. I think it was three minutes. Maybe five.
I was restless the entire time. I couldn’t focus. I was still thinking. My mind wasn’t clear. It didn’t work. So I gave it up. As if sitting still for three minutes ONE time was going to solve all of my problems.
Meditation is a PRACTICE and as we’ve all heard since we were little, practice makes perfect.
Regardless, I have negative amounts of patience and that was the end of my meditation journey. Until…
Suddenly, 2020 was over and it was time to make the inevitable resolutions that wouldn’t last longer than a week, two tops. Instead of telling myself that I was going to work out more and eat better, I decided to try something new and make a resolution that I genuinely wanted to follow and was interested in continuing.
My one main resolution was to start meditation.
So, I started. At first I was using the Headspace app. I think I started out with three minute guided meditations. That may seem like no time at all, but when you are just sitting with your eyes closed and breathing, it can feel like forever. THE POINT being, of course, that eventually you CAN meditate forever and have it not feel like any time passed at all.
Is my end all goal to be able to meditate for five hours straight? Absolutely not. First of all, I wouldn’t be able to go that long without eating a snack or having to pee. Second of all, that isn’t something I feel like I need to accomplish.
Now, I do five minute meditations and have been using guided meditations posted by @Zucchini.Who on Instagram (I did a podcast with her all about nutrition and you should totally go give it a listen.) And again, while that may not seem like a huge jump or a lot of time, it is all I need and I am still working on getting in the flow of it for just that time.
I honestly don’t even remember how the first meditation went, but I remember that by the third day I was doing it, I already felt better. By better, I mean that my days were going by without me worrying as much about the little things, or spending my time thinking about one thing for way too long and for no reason.
The act of starting my morning by just sitting, breathing and focusing was quite literally clearing my head. It’s been almost four months since I started and I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon! Now, do I do it every single morning? I would be lying if I said yes. It’s definitely something that I try to do and there are more mornings than not where I do take the time to do it, but sometimes, things happen. I try not to beat myself up about it if I don’t get to it because I feel like that almost defeats the entire purpose.
The other day was one of the first times where I think I truly “zoned out” during my meditation. Sidenote, in high school I took Walking and Meditation one semester for gym class and we would do 15 minute meditations. Did I actually meditate? No shot. I took the time to get a quick little cat nap in. I quite literally zoned out during those sessions. THIS TIME, I mean I zoned out, but in a good way. I wasn’t even really listening to the person guiding my breathing at that point, I was just, well, breathing. Eventually the minutes were just, up. It felt kind of cool.
I think one of the main reasons why it is so easy to give the practice up is because it can be frustrating and feel like it isn’t working. Or at least, that is what happened to me. I thought, why am I still thinking about things while I am meditating? Aren’t I just supposed to be breathing?
I hate to break it to you, I really do, but you are ALWAYS going to be thinking about something. I think the point of meditating is to eventually be able to just have the thought and let it go without actually spending the time THINKING about the THOUGHT.
While on the topic of having thoughts while meditating, there are a thousand other things that can distract you during those few minutes. Someone texts you. An ambulance is going by. You hear dogs barking (those last two might not apply to you, but I’m a #citygirl so.) Whatever it may be, things happen. The point is that eventually you will be able to block those things out and not feel like you need to open your eyes and check your phone or look out the window. If it helps, turn off your ringer or sound on your phone for those five minutes.
Sometimes, if I am really trying to help myself get in the zone, I will count. I will count how long my breaths are and how many I am taking. I’ll even tap with my fingers, going through them in one direction and then all the way back. Honestly, now that I am writing this out, doing that probably keeps me from getting in the zone because I am focused on counting. Oh well.
In terms of my positioning...Do I sit with my legs crossed repeating Ohm over and over again? No, but close. I usually sit on my bench in my room with my legs crossed and with a pillow in my lap. I find it more comfy :)
Right now, five minutes is what is best for me. Maybe one day I will work up to a longer session, but I am content with where I’m at.
Whether you do it in the morning, during the day when you need a break, or before bed, I think that you should try taking a minute or three to just inhale and exhale...AND DON’T give it up after trying it out for a day or two. I want you to try doing it for...hmmmm...let’s say a week. Even that is a short amount of time, but if you aren’t feeling it after seven days, I won’t hold it against you. Promise.
Namaste. Smile. It’s good for you.